12. We are all healthy! Thank you Jesus for this blessing!
11. We bought an RV. Its old, but well loved! So far we have used it at least once a month and we have plans to use it Christmas day! Anyone ever heard of Cousin Eddy?
10. First Friends playgroup is simply a great time :)
9. Stoytimes at the libraries and City of Adrian events! If its free and fun, we'll be there!
8. The students and staff of Siena Heights University Upward Bound!!!
7. Big rowdy Brown family Thanksgiving in Orlando - 38 people in an 8 person villas! What could be better?
6. 1Mosaic hired another pastor, Scott VanEtten and we love him and his family so much!
5. Camping every chance we got and made a few new friends, particularly the Maus family - now they can't get rid of us ;)
4. Young Life Family Camp, was the sweetest family time we had all year! Its a sacred place and we can't wait to go back!
3. Haiti and the Mission of Hope vision. Haitians helping and healing Haitians - what a beautiful example of the church.
2. The distinctly special community of 1Mosaic - never have we been included in a community so committed to living like Jesus and dedicated to becoming more like Him. We are so blessed to be counted amoungst these Jesus people.
1. The dreams that God continues to whisper into our hearts and the hope of watching God finish the work He's already began!
May you find time to thank the one who made you for the inifinite blessings and lessons of 2012. May our very breath be a reminder of His sovereignty!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
The hardest part is leaving the kids.
We are just over a month away from our second Haiti trip. We are both excited to get back to Haiti and to serve alongside the amazing people of Mission of Hope. But with every week that brings us closer to our departure, the anxiousness of leaving our boys increases. Saying goodbye to them and knowing that we'll miss out on their smiles, their cuddles and all the other joys they bring everyday is the hardest part of leaving. Right now they are both snuggled in cozy jammies, watching a Christmas movie wearing pirate masks. We both really hate to leave them. Our time in Haiti won't change that either...we'll miss them all day and we'll be so excited to get back home to hug and kiss them.
On our final day last May in Haiti, we were certainly excited to see our sweet boys, but our hearts had a new heartache that overwhelmed us. Tears streamed down my face and Dan knew exactly what my heart was feeling. The hardest part is leaving the kids. Every mile back to Port au Prince takes you past children that deserve safe homes and healthy families. About six months later the site of children that remind us of the Haitian children still cause us to pause and ask the impatient question 'When will our family be complete with our Haitian children?' See, we chose an adoption agency in June and by August the entire country of Haiti had postponed all adoptions until January 2013 at the earliest. Someday our adoption will finally begin and roughly 2 years later our family will include our Haitian child(ren).
Until then our relationship with this beautiful country will always have the same theme - the hardest part is leaving the kids.
On our final day last May in Haiti, we were certainly excited to see our sweet boys, but our hearts had a new heartache that overwhelmed us. Tears streamed down my face and Dan knew exactly what my heart was feeling. The hardest part is leaving the kids. Every mile back to Port au Prince takes you past children that deserve safe homes and healthy families. About six months later the site of children that remind us of the Haitian children still cause us to pause and ask the impatient question 'When will our family be complete with our Haitian children?' See, we chose an adoption agency in June and by August the entire country of Haiti had postponed all adoptions until January 2013 at the earliest. Someday our adoption will finally begin and roughly 2 years later our family will include our Haitian child(ren).
Until then our relationship with this beautiful country will always have the same theme - the hardest part is leaving the kids.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Her name is Grace.
About a week ago Dan was working early on a Saturday morning before the rest of us were awake. Around 9am he came into the room where the boys and I were hanging out with a distinctly sick look on his face. "Whats wrong?, spilled out of my mouth without a thought. He explained that for the past hour and a half he had been trying to turn on his laptop. Across the screen of the computer were the words, No Operating System Found. Dan's much more 'techy' than me and he knew right away that his computer had crashed. About an hour later, a tech support company confirmed that the hard drive and everything on it was gone. This may not seem like a big deal, but Dan is a church planter and the administrative piece of 1Mosaic runs solely from this piece of technology. Where other churches might have secretary's, Dan has a file in his laptop and when other churches would have worship leaders, Dan has a laptop. This same scenario plays out over and over and over. So knowing the importance of Dan's computer I felt sick for him. I also feared how the rest of our weekend would be as Dan tried to figure out how to deal with this.
But her name is Grace. She is an absolutely beautiful baby girl, born just two weeks ago to a young woman in our community. Grace Ann was born just before midnight on Halloween with dark hair and tiny features. She spent her entire time in the womb battling Brittle Born Disease. On the day of her birth, her mother and several family members treasured her arrival, savoring every minute. Then just 25 minutes later she breathed her last and began her eternal life with Jesus. Her earthly death was not a surprise.
The following day, November 1st, Dan spent some time with Grace who was still nestled in her mothers arms. Grace had a sweet smile on her face as if to say, 'I know that my mommy is holding me although I am whole and healthy with my Heavenly Father.' Her face was peaceful and somehow her mother was too. Although sorrow filled room 309, her name captured the atmosphere and there was truly GRACE that could be felt. Dan had time to pray with this family, annoint Grace with oil, as the New Testament says, and live in the moment - taking in all the wide range of emotions.
A few days later, we celebrated the short life of Grace with a burial and balloon launch of 25 pink balloons, symbolizing the 25 minutes that Grace was among us. It was a beautiful day, unusually sunny for November. Although tears were shed, there was a spirit of joy as people were coming together to encourage this young mother and to say goodbye to sweet Grace. The best part was when we let go of the ballons and although Grace's mother warned us to move away from any trees that might tangle the strings, almost all 25 balloons drifted west and got caught in a large oak tree. The balloons eventually wiggled free, but it was an opportunity to laugh.
Back to the laptop. Dan like all of us has things that cause him to get angry. Losing the contents of his computer, the storehouse of our church, would be grounds for feeling like life is hard at times . And like all of us, he might have taken this frustration out on his family - the ones who can forgive him the fastest. But her name is Grace. And through the lessons of watching such a sweet life be taken from this world so quickly, we are reminded of what hard really is. Hard is losing a child. Hard is trying to understand the God of the universe when our minds are finite. Laptops are replaceable and inconveniences pass. People are important and the rest of life is simply insignificant.
Grace, your short time in this finite life has taught us to keep perspective of the importance of people. May we honor your life by remembering what hard really is and showing the world grace for anything less. Looking forward to kissing you again in eternity!
But her name is Grace. She is an absolutely beautiful baby girl, born just two weeks ago to a young woman in our community. Grace Ann was born just before midnight on Halloween with dark hair and tiny features. She spent her entire time in the womb battling Brittle Born Disease. On the day of her birth, her mother and several family members treasured her arrival, savoring every minute. Then just 25 minutes later she breathed her last and began her eternal life with Jesus. Her earthly death was not a surprise.
The following day, November 1st, Dan spent some time with Grace who was still nestled in her mothers arms. Grace had a sweet smile on her face as if to say, 'I know that my mommy is holding me although I am whole and healthy with my Heavenly Father.' Her face was peaceful and somehow her mother was too. Although sorrow filled room 309, her name captured the atmosphere and there was truly GRACE that could be felt. Dan had time to pray with this family, annoint Grace with oil, as the New Testament says, and live in the moment - taking in all the wide range of emotions.
A few days later, we celebrated the short life of Grace with a burial and balloon launch of 25 pink balloons, symbolizing the 25 minutes that Grace was among us. It was a beautiful day, unusually sunny for November. Although tears were shed, there was a spirit of joy as people were coming together to encourage this young mother and to say goodbye to sweet Grace. The best part was when we let go of the ballons and although Grace's mother warned us to move away from any trees that might tangle the strings, almost all 25 balloons drifted west and got caught in a large oak tree. The balloons eventually wiggled free, but it was an opportunity to laugh.
Back to the laptop. Dan like all of us has things that cause him to get angry. Losing the contents of his computer, the storehouse of our church, would be grounds for feeling like life is hard at times . And like all of us, he might have taken this frustration out on his family - the ones who can forgive him the fastest. But her name is Grace. And through the lessons of watching such a sweet life be taken from this world so quickly, we are reminded of what hard really is. Hard is losing a child. Hard is trying to understand the God of the universe when our minds are finite. Laptops are replaceable and inconveniences pass. People are important and the rest of life is simply insignificant.
Grace, your short time in this finite life has taught us to keep perspective of the importance of people. May we honor your life by remembering what hard really is and showing the world grace for anything less. Looking forward to kissing you again in eternity!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Princess was invited on the Guys Trip!
My three boys (Kadan, Jaxan and Dan :) are the heartbeat of every day. Here's just a little glimpse as to why.
Kadan lives in a fantasy world most of the time. Usually this world includes lions, pirates and almost always his friend David, whom we have never met because he is imaginary. I tend to be involved in his imagination by taking on new names - Beth from Open Season, Nala from the Lion King and my least favorite Gloria from Madagascar. But for the past week I have been given the name Princess. Lovely isn't it? The best is when I forget that my name is Princess and Kadan has to yell 'PRINCESS' until I remember and then respond. It is adorable and I will keep this one for as long as his imagine will allow!
Jaxan, oh Sweet Jax! Jaxan has only had 1 bad day that we can remember. He is the happiest child that I know. Anger, sadness, irritability is only a fabrication he creates when he's trying to imitate Kadan or when the role he is playing requires it i.e. when he is Scar and fighting Mufasa (Kadan). Jax is every bit as fun as he is tenderhearted. He is compassionate like his Daddy. He's charming like his Daddy too! A few times a week Jax will crawl into my lap and nonchalantly say 'You Beauful'. Jax talks in a special, almost French sounding, accent that makes these two words sound even sweeter. But the very best part of all is that I spend 90% of my time with this little guy at home looking anything but beautiful.
So these two boys have been planning a guys trip, full of hunting, camping in the woods, playing Angry Birds and going to the donut shop. Kadan told me about these plans on Friday. I listened asking pertinent questions to show I was engaged. To my surprise when I asked what guys would be going on this 'mandate' he quickly replied, "All of us - you, Daddy, me and Jax." Wow, I am invited on the guys trip! That is awesome!
We talked at dinner on Sunday about the guys trip and I asked Kadan to fill Dan in on the plans and invite list. Without a bit of hesitation, Dan replied "No guys trip would be fun without Mommy!" So as much as I like to think that my time at home with these two small people is turning them into gentlemen, I know that the truth is that the sweetness of their hearts and words and dreams has really been fostered by the example of their Daddy. Without Dan doing such an excellent job of bringing chivalry into our home, this Princess would never have been invited on the Guys Trip!
Kadan lives in a fantasy world most of the time. Usually this world includes lions, pirates and almost always his friend David, whom we have never met because he is imaginary. I tend to be involved in his imagination by taking on new names - Beth from Open Season, Nala from the Lion King and my least favorite Gloria from Madagascar. But for the past week I have been given the name Princess. Lovely isn't it? The best is when I forget that my name is Princess and Kadan has to yell 'PRINCESS' until I remember and then respond. It is adorable and I will keep this one for as long as his imagine will allow!
Jaxan, oh Sweet Jax! Jaxan has only had 1 bad day that we can remember. He is the happiest child that I know. Anger, sadness, irritability is only a fabrication he creates when he's trying to imitate Kadan or when the role he is playing requires it i.e. when he is Scar and fighting Mufasa (Kadan). Jax is every bit as fun as he is tenderhearted. He is compassionate like his Daddy. He's charming like his Daddy too! A few times a week Jax will crawl into my lap and nonchalantly say 'You Beauful'. Jax talks in a special, almost French sounding, accent that makes these two words sound even sweeter. But the very best part of all is that I spend 90% of my time with this little guy at home looking anything but beautiful.
So these two boys have been planning a guys trip, full of hunting, camping in the woods, playing Angry Birds and going to the donut shop. Kadan told me about these plans on Friday. I listened asking pertinent questions to show I was engaged. To my surprise when I asked what guys would be going on this 'mandate' he quickly replied, "All of us - you, Daddy, me and Jax." Wow, I am invited on the guys trip! That is awesome!
We talked at dinner on Sunday about the guys trip and I asked Kadan to fill Dan in on the plans and invite list. Without a bit of hesitation, Dan replied "No guys trip would be fun without Mommy!" So as much as I like to think that my time at home with these two small people is turning them into gentlemen, I know that the truth is that the sweetness of their hearts and words and dreams has really been fostered by the example of their Daddy. Without Dan doing such an excellent job of bringing chivalry into our home, this Princess would never have been invited on the Guys Trip!
The Crist family would like to publicly endorse...
Since election day is just a couple hours away we'd like to take this opportunity to publicly show our support for....drum roll please...............ORANGE LEAF!
For those of you who have not yet experienced Orange Leaf, I am sorry for you. Orange Leaf is a frozen yogurt cafe that allows you to create your own masterpiece of awesomeness. You grab an oversized bowl, then approach a wall of 16 self serve frozen yogurt machines and fill your bowl with flavors that could only be imagined in the epic movie, Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. From here, you make your way to the truly endless bar of candy, fruit, every kind of chocolate, syrups and whip cream. Once again you serve yourself and before paying you place your creation on a scale. Our family paid $15 for 4 monster bowls of happiness! The yogurt was good, but the experience was phenomenal. The boys were in heaven because they got to do everything by themselves and Dan and I were in heaven because we felt like little kids again. It was a really fun way to spend time together!
So, lets transition back to election day. We are a family that doesn't watch t.v. Our anti-t.v. home is not a statement or an effort to be countercultural. It was simply a financial decision we made in February 2009. Since then we have been out of the loop politically. We no longer eat dinner watching the 5 o'clock news and we are completely oblivious to the drama of hollywood. Dan just found out last month who Snooki (sp?) is. All of this to say that we haven't been exposed or should I say bombarded with endorsements for the presidential election. Certainly we can be criticized for not 'knowing what's going on', but from our perspective what is 'going on' is right in front of us - it's our family. And with or without t.v. its also clear that beyond the safety of our home, 'what's going on' is the rapid, devastating decline of families that are healthy. Dan and I are both involved in relational vocations that allow us to be deeply invested in the lives of others. Often, as in daily, we talk at night about the people that filled our day and the same theme crashes into the conversation every time...families are struggling, drowning, and crumbling all around us. And the hardest part of this reality is that the children that are brought into these homes are suffering and hurting tremendously. The emptiness and pain that these broken homes create is not a wound that can be healed through programs, non-profits or therapists. It's the kind of destruction that has to be leveled and rebuilt all together, which almost never happens. So instead our city, our nation is left with a demolished landscape. Sound exaggerated? Actually, I would argue that the number of people hurting tonight because of the brokenness caused by unhealthy, failing families is so immeasurable that it should be the nations #1 news story. It is an epidemic that has a larger ripple effect than any other we've seen before.
So this election year, I will be voting for the candidate that seems to recognize this epidemic and the candidate that values families more than budgets, jobs and healthcare. I hope you'll consider doing the same.
For those of you who have not yet experienced Orange Leaf, I am sorry for you. Orange Leaf is a frozen yogurt cafe that allows you to create your own masterpiece of awesomeness. You grab an oversized bowl, then approach a wall of 16 self serve frozen yogurt machines and fill your bowl with flavors that could only be imagined in the epic movie, Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. From here, you make your way to the truly endless bar of candy, fruit, every kind of chocolate, syrups and whip cream. Once again you serve yourself and before paying you place your creation on a scale. Our family paid $15 for 4 monster bowls of happiness! The yogurt was good, but the experience was phenomenal. The boys were in heaven because they got to do everything by themselves and Dan and I were in heaven because we felt like little kids again. It was a really fun way to spend time together!
So, lets transition back to election day. We are a family that doesn't watch t.v. Our anti-t.v. home is not a statement or an effort to be countercultural. It was simply a financial decision we made in February 2009. Since then we have been out of the loop politically. We no longer eat dinner watching the 5 o'clock news and we are completely oblivious to the drama of hollywood. Dan just found out last month who Snooki (sp?) is. All of this to say that we haven't been exposed or should I say bombarded with endorsements for the presidential election. Certainly we can be criticized for not 'knowing what's going on', but from our perspective what is 'going on' is right in front of us - it's our family. And with or without t.v. its also clear that beyond the safety of our home, 'what's going on' is the rapid, devastating decline of families that are healthy. Dan and I are both involved in relational vocations that allow us to be deeply invested in the lives of others. Often, as in daily, we talk at night about the people that filled our day and the same theme crashes into the conversation every time...families are struggling, drowning, and crumbling all around us. And the hardest part of this reality is that the children that are brought into these homes are suffering and hurting tremendously. The emptiness and pain that these broken homes create is not a wound that can be healed through programs, non-profits or therapists. It's the kind of destruction that has to be leveled and rebuilt all together, which almost never happens. So instead our city, our nation is left with a demolished landscape. Sound exaggerated? Actually, I would argue that the number of people hurting tonight because of the brokenness caused by unhealthy, failing families is so immeasurable that it should be the nations #1 news story. It is an epidemic that has a larger ripple effect than any other we've seen before.
So this election year, I will be voting for the candidate that seems to recognize this epidemic and the candidate that values families more than budgets, jobs and healthcare. I hope you'll consider doing the same.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Radical, let me introduce you to Disney
Warning: I apologize for the length of this post. Considering its 4:35am and this subject has once again caused me to lose sleep, this could be a bit long.
Ok so back in April we (Dan and I) were facing a challenge, nothing that we couldn't overcome, just a situation that had developed over the previous six months and like many other times in our long relationship we had to link arms and walk through a tough time as a team. We are great at being a team, but this particular mountain was leaving us weary to say the least. The toughest day, came on a Tuesday night the end of April. This wasn't a situation we had shared with our parents because no one was sick, and to be honest it wasn't anything that they could help solve, it was simply something that we were faced with. However, the Thursday following that tough Tuesday evening, my parents called with an invitation like none we had ever received...2 weeks paid vacation to Orlando. We listened respectfully as my parents explained that the first week would be a family reunion with the entire Brown clan including 29 grandchildren and all of my siblings. The second week would be just our family of four, at the same resort - a gift from the previous Christmas that we had not used. We listened to all the details and my Dads sales pitch about endless pools, in room babysitting provided by the hotel, great restaurants and how important it is to 'get away'. My parents are adorable, so as much as we wanted to say yes, we declined. Declined? Yes declined, because just months prior we had read an amazing book titled Radical that had affirmed our desires of how we wanted to spend our time here on earth and trips to Disney were in direct contradiction to every page. So a week or two went by and our conviction not to go didn't change. During this same time Dan and I were preparing for a mission trip to Haiti, our first time leaving Kadan and Jaxan. Radical, is a beautiful book and if I could summarize it in a sentence I'd say this, We are only blessed by God so that we can offer blessings to the world. Haiti would be a great opportunity to bless others and we couldn't be happier to go and be a conduit of God's love to the Haitian people. Our Haiti trip overshadowed the difficult time that we were still in and also took away any temptation to accept the vacation offer that was still solidly on the table. During our week in Haiti we missed the boys terribly. I cried several times, asking Dan to figure out a way to have the boys fly to Port au Prince. If this request would have been fulfilled, we likely would have stayed the entire summer and maybe forever. But to my dismay the boys remained in Michigan and in a blink our week was over and we were flying back to the U.S. Did I mention that this post may be long???
Ok, so back in Adrian in early June, we were continuing to walk through our challenge and although Haiti gave us a renewed love for serving others and 'being Radical' we as a family were feeling the toll of the past few months and simply wearing out. June is also the time of year when my work schedule requires me to work almost double my regular hours. This particular summer Dan had also agreed to take on a part time position with the non-profit I work for because we were unable to find a certified chemistry/physics teacher and Dan the Renaissance Man, was the directors top choice. So life was exhausting...family time was scarce and we started to long for a vacation. On Sundays, when we did get time together we started joking about how nice the Orlando vacation would be and how Radical had 'ruined our life'. Reading Radical didn't really ruin our life, in fact it actually just confirmed the choices that the Spirit of God had been teaching us for the past four years about stewardship, our responsibility to the poor and our ability to be the church to the 'least of these'. Nonetheless, we were tired. Life had been challenging for the past six months and the feelings of being burn out was creeping in. So we began to pray. We also began to camp and as often as possible we'd pack up and retreat to any campground we could find. During one of these camping getaways, something hit me...the missing piece of our wonderful Haiti trip...the boys. God's presence in Haiti was thick and although we loved every minute of our time there, it always felt incomplete without Kadan and Jaxan. Is this also how my parents would feel without our family in Orlando? We love my parents, they are wonderful, you should meet them :) The question became more of a statement and yes indeed we had missed the real reason for such an amazing offer - Orlando would be a blessing to my parents as much or more so than it would be for us. And without the four of us they might have the same feeling of incompleteness that we wrestled with in Haiti. In the next few days we contemplated the trip and then finally made a decision...we would go to Florida, spend one week with the rowdy Brown clan and stay an additional week and enjoy every minute of precious family time - our favorite thing in the world!!! At the risk of sounding dramatic, I do have to say that as we were getting ready to call my parents and accept this vacation, you would have thought we were about to step out of a plane and skydive. We kept saying, 'are we really doing this?', 'this is crazy...2 weeks...what are we doing?'. After calling we had a bit more peace since we had finally landed on a decision, but the conflict remained in our hearts. Would the community that we love so much at Mosaic think we were hypocrites for accepting such a lavish gift? Would this trip lure us back to the life we used to live that included elaborate vacations and other monies spent on treating ourselves, while neglecting the poor and broken? Would we lose our heart for Haiti and the amazing work of our missionary friends in Kenya and be swept away into the American disease of self-centeredness? Or would it simply be a vacation, a pure blessing for a loving Heavenly Father, that might fill our hearts to overflowing so that we can return to our community healthy and eager to love and live Radically once again?
Since we've accepted this overwhelming gift, a few more crazy things have happened. We were given 2 day passes for our family to go the Magic Kingdom (something we certainly wouldn't have done) from a retired couple that we met camping. They both had worked for Disney and their retirement package allows them to bless others with trips to Disney, and as only God could align, we met them, became fast friends and they have insisted that we take the boys. What?! We also opened a Chase Disney Visa card, and for only using it one time then cutting it up faster than Dave Rasmey, we received a $200 Disney gift card that can be used anywhere 'Disney'. And the final kicker is this...I am typing from a hotel in Indianapolis where Dan will be speaking at a church this weekend. To my surprise, the church has not only paid for ALL our expenses this weekend, but they have also paid Dan very generously. We now have all of the cash we will need for 2 weeks in Orlando. Are you beginning to see why I am thankful and yet totally overwhelmed? I feel the like the people on the commercials who opened their door to see Ed McMan holding a million dollar check!
The moral of this crazy long blog is this....The Creator of the Universe loves us. He loves His children even more than we love our own precious children. And as much as He wants us to be the tangible love to this hurting world, He also wants to model that love to us. Now I'm not saying that we should ever expect such generosity from the one who made us, our very breathe is more of a gift than we deserve, but I am saying that when we are blessed we need to pause and recognize that we are loved by the God more than we can comprehend. I am making a choice to stop feeling guilty and to start being grateful. So at 5:53am let me publicly say thank you Jesus for a gift that is so generous that its overwhelmed me for months and I love you too!
Ok so back in April we (Dan and I) were facing a challenge, nothing that we couldn't overcome, just a situation that had developed over the previous six months and like many other times in our long relationship we had to link arms and walk through a tough time as a team. We are great at being a team, but this particular mountain was leaving us weary to say the least. The toughest day, came on a Tuesday night the end of April. This wasn't a situation we had shared with our parents because no one was sick, and to be honest it wasn't anything that they could help solve, it was simply something that we were faced with. However, the Thursday following that tough Tuesday evening, my parents called with an invitation like none we had ever received...2 weeks paid vacation to Orlando. We listened respectfully as my parents explained that the first week would be a family reunion with the entire Brown clan including 29 grandchildren and all of my siblings. The second week would be just our family of four, at the same resort - a gift from the previous Christmas that we had not used. We listened to all the details and my Dads sales pitch about endless pools, in room babysitting provided by the hotel, great restaurants and how important it is to 'get away'. My parents are adorable, so as much as we wanted to say yes, we declined. Declined? Yes declined, because just months prior we had read an amazing book titled Radical that had affirmed our desires of how we wanted to spend our time here on earth and trips to Disney were in direct contradiction to every page. So a week or two went by and our conviction not to go didn't change. During this same time Dan and I were preparing for a mission trip to Haiti, our first time leaving Kadan and Jaxan. Radical, is a beautiful book and if I could summarize it in a sentence I'd say this, We are only blessed by God so that we can offer blessings to the world. Haiti would be a great opportunity to bless others and we couldn't be happier to go and be a conduit of God's love to the Haitian people. Our Haiti trip overshadowed the difficult time that we were still in and also took away any temptation to accept the vacation offer that was still solidly on the table. During our week in Haiti we missed the boys terribly. I cried several times, asking Dan to figure out a way to have the boys fly to Port au Prince. If this request would have been fulfilled, we likely would have stayed the entire summer and maybe forever. But to my dismay the boys remained in Michigan and in a blink our week was over and we were flying back to the U.S. Did I mention that this post may be long???
Ok, so back in Adrian in early June, we were continuing to walk through our challenge and although Haiti gave us a renewed love for serving others and 'being Radical' we as a family were feeling the toll of the past few months and simply wearing out. June is also the time of year when my work schedule requires me to work almost double my regular hours. This particular summer Dan had also agreed to take on a part time position with the non-profit I work for because we were unable to find a certified chemistry/physics teacher and Dan the Renaissance Man, was the directors top choice. So life was exhausting...family time was scarce and we started to long for a vacation. On Sundays, when we did get time together we started joking about how nice the Orlando vacation would be and how Radical had 'ruined our life'. Reading Radical didn't really ruin our life, in fact it actually just confirmed the choices that the Spirit of God had been teaching us for the past four years about stewardship, our responsibility to the poor and our ability to be the church to the 'least of these'. Nonetheless, we were tired. Life had been challenging for the past six months and the feelings of being burn out was creeping in. So we began to pray. We also began to camp and as often as possible we'd pack up and retreat to any campground we could find. During one of these camping getaways, something hit me...the missing piece of our wonderful Haiti trip...the boys. God's presence in Haiti was thick and although we loved every minute of our time there, it always felt incomplete without Kadan and Jaxan. Is this also how my parents would feel without our family in Orlando? We love my parents, they are wonderful, you should meet them :) The question became more of a statement and yes indeed we had missed the real reason for such an amazing offer - Orlando would be a blessing to my parents as much or more so than it would be for us. And without the four of us they might have the same feeling of incompleteness that we wrestled with in Haiti. In the next few days we contemplated the trip and then finally made a decision...we would go to Florida, spend one week with the rowdy Brown clan and stay an additional week and enjoy every minute of precious family time - our favorite thing in the world!!! At the risk of sounding dramatic, I do have to say that as we were getting ready to call my parents and accept this vacation, you would have thought we were about to step out of a plane and skydive. We kept saying, 'are we really doing this?', 'this is crazy...2 weeks...what are we doing?'. After calling we had a bit more peace since we had finally landed on a decision, but the conflict remained in our hearts. Would the community that we love so much at Mosaic think we were hypocrites for accepting such a lavish gift? Would this trip lure us back to the life we used to live that included elaborate vacations and other monies spent on treating ourselves, while neglecting the poor and broken? Would we lose our heart for Haiti and the amazing work of our missionary friends in Kenya and be swept away into the American disease of self-centeredness? Or would it simply be a vacation, a pure blessing for a loving Heavenly Father, that might fill our hearts to overflowing so that we can return to our community healthy and eager to love and live Radically once again?
Since we've accepted this overwhelming gift, a few more crazy things have happened. We were given 2 day passes for our family to go the Magic Kingdom (something we certainly wouldn't have done) from a retired couple that we met camping. They both had worked for Disney and their retirement package allows them to bless others with trips to Disney, and as only God could align, we met them, became fast friends and they have insisted that we take the boys. What?! We also opened a Chase Disney Visa card, and for only using it one time then cutting it up faster than Dave Rasmey, we received a $200 Disney gift card that can be used anywhere 'Disney'. And the final kicker is this...I am typing from a hotel in Indianapolis where Dan will be speaking at a church this weekend. To my surprise, the church has not only paid for ALL our expenses this weekend, but they have also paid Dan very generously. We now have all of the cash we will need for 2 weeks in Orlando. Are you beginning to see why I am thankful and yet totally overwhelmed? I feel the like the people on the commercials who opened their door to see Ed McMan holding a million dollar check!
The moral of this crazy long blog is this....The Creator of the Universe loves us. He loves His children even more than we love our own precious children. And as much as He wants us to be the tangible love to this hurting world, He also wants to model that love to us. Now I'm not saying that we should ever expect such generosity from the one who made us, our very breathe is more of a gift than we deserve, but I am saying that when we are blessed we need to pause and recognize that we are loved by the God more than we can comprehend. I am making a choice to stop feeling guilty and to start being grateful. So at 5:53am let me publicly say thank you Jesus for a gift that is so generous that its overwhelmed me for months and I love you too!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
laughter + love = community
Oh my sweet boys...how I love being their mommy!
Dan and I were blessed to have two baby boys within 14 months of each other. Like all parents we find ourselves exhausted and yet every day is filled with lots of laughter and a perfect love that only children can bring into a home. One of the most recent joys of raising these little guys is watching them build friendships and establish their innocent sense of community. Beyond being each others best friend, they are both blessed to have many buddies. These 'best buddies' fill our days at church, story time and several playgroups. Almost daily the boys ask who they will get to play with and when the plan for the day is revealed, their eyes light up. Last week, on a typical day at story time, the boys were playing and talking with their friends when a huddle started to form. I was proudly watching our oldest gather his friends into a tight circle, eager to share a secret. How adorable! It was a sweet moment as I watched him engage in his community of peers. Then in a blink he pulled something out of his pocket. I continued to watch still proud, but also curious to find out what treasure he was about to reveal. And then it happened... from about 10 feet away I began to recognize his treasure and my eyesight confirmed my fear. He was showing his friends a crisp piece of paper titled "How to use a tampon." Luckily, all the children gathered are unable to read and even luckier the fact the diagram on the back was still folded and out of sight. At this point I invaded the circle of little boys and asked if I could hold the treasure until Daddy got home from work, which at that point my son could show off his new treasure once again. Embarrassment mixed with awe left me speechless for a bit, only until I looked over my shoulder and made eye contact with another mom who had watched the whole thing go down. To my total relief we exchanged smiles that turned into laughter and a hug that seemed to say "its ok, weird stuff happens at our house too". So now a week later, I continue to laugh at the scene that may forever be in my mind -my sons proud treasure, the regular surprises of parenting and the gift of having really great friends! So the lasting lesson is this: friendships are crucial. They make life sweeter and offer the companionship that God Himself desired when He created us. We are designed to be in community and without it our very life lacks joy that can only come from laughter and love. I am thankful that my children have their own community of first friends and even more so for my beautiful girlfriends that can embrace the twists and turns of my crazy life with a smile, a hug and a good laugh!
Dan and I were blessed to have two baby boys within 14 months of each other. Like all parents we find ourselves exhausted and yet every day is filled with lots of laughter and a perfect love that only children can bring into a home. One of the most recent joys of raising these little guys is watching them build friendships and establish their innocent sense of community. Beyond being each others best friend, they are both blessed to have many buddies. These 'best buddies' fill our days at church, story time and several playgroups. Almost daily the boys ask who they will get to play with and when the plan for the day is revealed, their eyes light up. Last week, on a typical day at story time, the boys were playing and talking with their friends when a huddle started to form. I was proudly watching our oldest gather his friends into a tight circle, eager to share a secret. How adorable! It was a sweet moment as I watched him engage in his community of peers. Then in a blink he pulled something out of his pocket. I continued to watch still proud, but also curious to find out what treasure he was about to reveal. And then it happened... from about 10 feet away I began to recognize his treasure and my eyesight confirmed my fear. He was showing his friends a crisp piece of paper titled "How to use a tampon." Luckily, all the children gathered are unable to read and even luckier the fact the diagram on the back was still folded and out of sight. At this point I invaded the circle of little boys and asked if I could hold the treasure until Daddy got home from work, which at that point my son could show off his new treasure once again. Embarrassment mixed with awe left me speechless for a bit, only until I looked over my shoulder and made eye contact with another mom who had watched the whole thing go down. To my total relief we exchanged smiles that turned into laughter and a hug that seemed to say "its ok, weird stuff happens at our house too". So now a week later, I continue to laugh at the scene that may forever be in my mind -my sons proud treasure, the regular surprises of parenting and the gift of having really great friends! So the lasting lesson is this: friendships are crucial. They make life sweeter and offer the companionship that God Himself desired when He created us. We are designed to be in community and without it our very life lacks joy that can only come from laughter and love. I am thankful that my children have their own community of first friends and even more so for my beautiful girlfriends that can embrace the twists and turns of my crazy life with a smile, a hug and a good laugh!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
3 beds and 3 couches
We are really lucky to have lots of different people in our lives. We have some people that breathe life into us through friendship and like-mindedness. Others who share our interests and fight for the same causes as we do. Family and long time friends that offer us the gift of memories and familiarity. And then there is a completely different population that keeps our heart in check, reminds us that we are not entitled to all that we have, but rather that our very life is simply God's grace. These special people are everywhere in my life. They are shopping next to me at the grocery store - a single mom exhausted and worn out, an elderly man with just a few items in his grocery cart to remind me that his lives alone. My children are aware of these people too. Some of these people are homeless, addicted and buried in the weight of consequences from either their own choices or the selfish sins of someone else. These people are around every turn in our small town.
On Tuesdays our family celebrates 'date night'. Dan and I each take one of the boys for a special date and then we meet for dinner, sometimes at Applebees (kids eat free:). One of the homeless men that we love is a dishwasher there. Our kids love him, he loves them too and on a few occasions he has slept over. He is an amazing man. I cannot eat dinner on these special nights without thinking of him. Why am I not the one washing dishes?
Another man that our family is blessed to know is sleeping in an outdoor pavilion. We took him dinner, gloves and a hat last week, but the anguish of leaving him there in the freezing cold remains on my heart everyday.
A woman that I met last year, a beautiful woman with a bright smile and strawberry blond hair, is battling cancer. She has fought this battle before and knows the horrors of chemo and radiation and has chosen not to use either treatment this time. So she fights...not just the evil cancer but the heartache of having four children, a loving husband and an uncertain future. I think about her several times a day and a physical pain fills my heart with every thought.
And most recently my heart aches for a new character in our life. If you could see him, his size would tell you that he is a man, but to know him you'd realize quickly that he is just a boy - sweet, innocent, awkward at times and lovable all the same. Because of a series of circumstances and a few of his own mistakes, he has been on his own for the past 3 years. For the last year he has been in a homeless shelter. After much generosity on the missions behalf, it is now time for him to be on his own, perhaps homeless.
Here's what keeps me up at night: We have 3 beds and 3 couches that could be his. Our home is modest, but from the perspective of someone who may be sleeping outside our home is a mansion. And we have come to realize that the only reason God blesses us, any of us, is to bless others. And yet Dan and I wrestle with the need to protect our boys, who are our primary ministry and also be sure to always offer a hand UP, not a hand out. So as much as the anguish consumes my heart and keeps me in a constant state of burden for others, I have to listen to the Holy Spirit, wait for His whisper and then obey. Many times Jesus has asked us to open our home to others, since everything is really Gods and we are simply the stewards. But in this particular case, that is not His will. So how would our Heavenly Father want me to be His love... I spent the afternoon with this boy/man. We walked to the library. He went to storytime with Kadan and Jaxan. We walked home and played in the backyard and then after a couple hours, I asked him to leave.
The anguish was there all along. I wanted to invite him in for lunch and treat him as I would my own boys. But the Spirit had whispered and as a bond servant to my Creator, my only choice was to obey. The anguish still lingers today and will be there tomorrow, but if that is the price to have a heart of compassion and eyes to see the world like Jesus, I will live in it and continue to look for chances to obey.
On Tuesdays our family celebrates 'date night'. Dan and I each take one of the boys for a special date and then we meet for dinner, sometimes at Applebees (kids eat free:). One of the homeless men that we love is a dishwasher there. Our kids love him, he loves them too and on a few occasions he has slept over. He is an amazing man. I cannot eat dinner on these special nights without thinking of him. Why am I not the one washing dishes?
Another man that our family is blessed to know is sleeping in an outdoor pavilion. We took him dinner, gloves and a hat last week, but the anguish of leaving him there in the freezing cold remains on my heart everyday.
A woman that I met last year, a beautiful woman with a bright smile and strawberry blond hair, is battling cancer. She has fought this battle before and knows the horrors of chemo and radiation and has chosen not to use either treatment this time. So she fights...not just the evil cancer but the heartache of having four children, a loving husband and an uncertain future. I think about her several times a day and a physical pain fills my heart with every thought.
And most recently my heart aches for a new character in our life. If you could see him, his size would tell you that he is a man, but to know him you'd realize quickly that he is just a boy - sweet, innocent, awkward at times and lovable all the same. Because of a series of circumstances and a few of his own mistakes, he has been on his own for the past 3 years. For the last year he has been in a homeless shelter. After much generosity on the missions behalf, it is now time for him to be on his own, perhaps homeless.
Here's what keeps me up at night: We have 3 beds and 3 couches that could be his. Our home is modest, but from the perspective of someone who may be sleeping outside our home is a mansion. And we have come to realize that the only reason God blesses us, any of us, is to bless others. And yet Dan and I wrestle with the need to protect our boys, who are our primary ministry and also be sure to always offer a hand UP, not a hand out. So as much as the anguish consumes my heart and keeps me in a constant state of burden for others, I have to listen to the Holy Spirit, wait for His whisper and then obey. Many times Jesus has asked us to open our home to others, since everything is really Gods and we are simply the stewards. But in this particular case, that is not His will. So how would our Heavenly Father want me to be His love... I spent the afternoon with this boy/man. We walked to the library. He went to storytime with Kadan and Jaxan. We walked home and played in the backyard and then after a couple hours, I asked him to leave.
The anguish was there all along. I wanted to invite him in for lunch and treat him as I would my own boys. But the Spirit had whispered and as a bond servant to my Creator, my only choice was to obey. The anguish still lingers today and will be there tomorrow, but if that is the price to have a heart of compassion and eyes to see the world like Jesus, I will live in it and continue to look for chances to obey.
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